The X Factor: Hogwarts Edition
by Professor McGonagal
Summary: The X Factor has come to Hogwarts. Reputations are on the line, hope is shattered, lyrics are wailed and crooned, songs are ruined, people are insulted, feelings are revealed, true love is found and Snape swivels around on a swivel chair. Repeatedly. Its a whole new ship; Snivel. All the while, Albus Dumbledore is having a great time. Please read, enjoy and review! :)


**A/N: This is a sort of Harry Potter/ X Factor crossover, but as this is more a Harry Potter fic than anything else, I have placed it in the Harry Potter section. I hope you all enjoy this story! :)**

**The X Factor: Hogwarts Edition**

**Chapter 1: Introduction**

The Entrance Hall at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was unusually mobbed. Students filled every nook and cranny, yet still more students poured into the Hall from various staircases. It was breakfast time, and for the first time in living memory –even the school ghosts couldn't remember a time when this had occurred- the doors to the Great Hall were locked.

As the final student- a pig-tailed Hufflepuff first year- raced into the hall and collided with Marcus Flint, one of the doors clicked open, the hall beyond was pitch black, however the school didn't care, but before the students could surge forward, Professor Dumbledore, flagged by Professors Snape, Flitwick, McGonagall, Sprout and Umbridge crossed the threshold, and the door clicked shut behind them.

The first thing the students noticed was that Umbridge was seething, McGonagall's mouth was needle thin, Sprout looked grim, Flitwick looked relieved, and Snape had just deduced seventy points from Gryffindor for no reason, his black eyes glittering dangerously. But Dumbledore, was beaming.

"Good morning, students." He said, cheerfully. "I suppose you are all wondering why you are all standing here and not sitting down in the Great Hall eating breakfast. The reason is that I have had an idea. Have any of you heard of the Muggle television show _The X Factor_?" There was a murmur of assent from the Muggle-borns and some Half-Bloods. "Well, for those of you who haven't heard of this show, it is a singing competition recorded in front of an audience where people vote for the contestant or group they want to win a lot of money, a music record deal with a famous company, and occasionally a Muggle vehicle called a 'car'. I have decided that we will be having _The X Factor: Hogwarts edition. _ You may enter in a group, or as a solo performer. The competition is also open to the public. The prize -generously donated by Honeydukes-, is a year's supply of Honeydukes chocolate, 150 points to their house or ex-house, fifty galleons, and a Firebolt broomstick." There was a stir of interest at the mention of the prizes. "There will be auditions, then, if you make it through; boot camp, if you survive; Teachers Office, then the live shows. The judges will be Professors Snape, McGonagall, Sprout and Umbridge. As Professor Flitwick gallantly offered her his spot on the panel, he will be the host." Professor Flitwick's expression went from relieved to horror. Dumbledore continued, his smile slightly larger. "The live shows are open to the wizarding community and will be conducted in the Great Hall."

At his words, the teachers stepped to the side and the doors to the Great Hall swung open once more. Dumbledore flicked his wand and the room was illuminated. Students gaped.

The Hall had been transformed into a theatre, with rows and rows of plush red, green, yellow and blue seats looking down on a large stage. Directly in front of the stage was long table with four swivel chairs behind it. The stage extended around the table, forming two mosh pits on either side of the stage. Coloured lights spun around the room, and a large banner had been hung on the back wall of the stage:

**DO YOU HAVE**

**THE X FACTOR?**

"In case you were wondering," Dumbledore said, smiling. "All meals will now be served in your Common Rooms."

At the end of the week, Dumbledore sat in his office, looking over a list, a Muggle old fashioned bright red telephone beside him. Before him, seated behind small desks, each with a bright red telephone on top sat his four judges. The auditions and boot camp had been held and now it was time for the Teachers Office rounds. All he had to do now was tell the judges which category they had, then he could sit back and enjoy the show.

Smiling, Dumbledore re-read his list of categories and their contestants:

**FOURTH AND FIFTH** **YEAR **

Hermione Granger

Draco Malfoy

Ginny Weasley

Luna Lovegood

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Blaise Zabini

**SIXTH YEAR AND OVER**

Cho Chang

Marietta Edgecombe

Cormac McLaggen

Katie Bell

Alicia Spinnet

Angelina Johnson

Lee Jordan

**GROUPS**

Fred and George Weasley

Remus Lupin and Snuffles (singing dog)

Lavender Brown, Pavarti and Padma Patil

Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle

Michael Corner, Ernie McMillian, and Hannah Abbott

Narcissa Malfoy and Giselle Zabini

Charlie and Bill Weasley

**GENERAL PUBLIC**

Mundungus Fletcher

Molly Weasley

Lucius Malfoy

Amelia Bones

Horace Slughorn

Hestia Jones

Nymphadora "Tonks" Tonks

As Dumbledore put down his list and picked up his telephone's receiver, Professor McGonagall burst into speech;

"Really, Dumbledore, why can't you just tell us?!"

"BECAUSE, Minerva, if Simon Cowell wanted to tell the judges himself, he would." Dumbledore replied. He was enjoying himself hugely, and wasn't going to let anyone spoil his fun.

He put the receiver to his ear and dialed a number. Umbridge's telephone rang. Looking disgusted, she picked up the receiver and held it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Other way, Delores." Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Flushing, Umbridge turned the receiver the correct way around and tried again. "Hello?"

"Hello, Delores, Dumbledore here. How are you?"

Umbridge stared at him. Dumbledore fixed her with a cold look.

"Er, I'm fine Headmaster, how are you?"

"Spiffing thank you. I have just finalised the list for contestants and categories. Your category is Sixth Years and over."

Umbridge looked and sounded revolted; "How wonderful! I look forward to being their mentor!"

"I'm pleased to hear it. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Umbridge replaced the receiver and forced a smile onto her face. Dumbledore pressed the end call bar-type thing on his telephone and dialed a second number. Sprout's phone rang.

She picked it up and held it the correct way. "Hello?" She boomed.

Dumbledore winced slightly. "Ah, Pomona, It's Dumbledore, I'm so glad I caught you. How are you?"

"Never better. Yourself?"

Dumbledore winced again. "Spiffing thank you. I have just finalised the list for contestants and categories. Your category is the General Public."

"Jolly good. Goodbye." Echoed around the room.

"Goodbye."

Sprout replaced the receiver. Discreetly, Dumbledore rubbed his ear, before pressing the bar and dialling a third number.

McGonagall's telephone rang. She picked it up. "Hello Albus." She said briskly. "I'm perfectly well, I'm guessing you're spiffing and you have just finalised the categories and contestants list. What is my category?"

Dumbledore glared at her. "Groups."

"Excellent, goodbye." She hung up.

"Which means," Snape said, seeing an opportunity to get out of using the Muggle contraption, even though it meant siding with McGonagall, "That my category is the Fourth and Fifth years." He felt like putting his head through a wall when he realised Potter was in that category, but hid it well.

"Well, now that we know our categories I'm sure we all have papers to mark. Goodbye Albus." McGonagall said standing up. The other teachers followed suit. McGonagall allowed them all to go before her, before heading to the gargoyle. Dumbledore stuck his tongue out at her retreating back, before he turned his mind to more pressing matters. Like wondering what songs the contestants will sing in the Teachers Office round...

**A/N: If you have a song request for any of the contestants please leave it in a review and please vote via a review for who you want to stay in the competion! Thanks for reading! :)**


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